Seeking Control in the Midst of COVID
When bad things happen, we try to pinpoint a cause. I know that we do this because I am no stranger to worry and I’m always trying to find a “cause.” We need something to identify or blame, so we can potentially prevent or control unwanted events at the source. Worry is rooted in a desire for control (Matthew 6:27). We want to control our situations so the bad things won’t happen. I’m sure it’s partly survival instinct and partly pain-avoidance, but I also know that it’s majorly a desire to circumvent God’s sovereignty so that our will can be done by preventing the things we fear.
I see this in big and small ways in our reactions to difficult circumstances. Instead of accepting the reality that some things are just natural events that God allows us to experience because we live in a fallen world, we start to imagine the ways that we might have influence over the situation. Whenever we face a *seemingly* random tragedy or health issue, we like to pinpoint something about it that could potentially be avoided, controlled, or changed. For example, when someone gets cancer, we try to find something in their lifestyle to blame it on (like junk food or using Teflon). Maybe we can avoid that fate if we pursue clean living in every area possible. If someone dies in a car accident, then maybe it’s because that person was speeding or not wearing a seat belt. Perhaps if we obey all the rules of the road, then we’ll always be safe in our cars. If a child is injured in a freak accident, then perhaps it’s the adult’s fault for not watching in that moment. We then determine to never take our eyes off of our children for a second from here on out. See how this works? None of these preventatives are realistic/practical and, even if achievable, none of them could fully prevent bad things from happening. God is on the throne, and our best efforts at self-protection are ultimately subordinate to His will.
But we perform these mental gymnastics anyway because it’s too scary and overwhelming to accept that sometimes bad things happen without direct culpability or cause on our part. If there’s culpability or a cause, then we can avoid that bad thing, right? Although Christians know, and ought to remember, that God is sovereign and nothing is really random, we still can’t sit with the uncomfortable idea that bad things can happen to us, even if we follow all the “rules” and avoid all the risk factors.
Now we have a global pandemic that’s completely out of human control. God hasn’t forfeited any control, but we as humans are utterly powerless, inert, and helpless in the face of something with no end point or guaranteed outcomes. We can’t wave a hand and eliminate aerosols from the atmosphere. We can’t accelerate the time it takes for lock-downs to flatten a curve. We can’t wear enough masks or wash enough hands to 100% guarantee that we’ll never get sick from something like this. But it’s too scary to think that viruses simply break out beyond human control because the world is full of dangerous things, so we need something concrete to pin it on (politicians, nations, conspiracies, pharmaceuticals, medical failures, etc.), and yet that object is usually not ultimately to blame if we’re being intellectually honest with ourselves.
What we need to do, both therapeutically and spiritually, is to accept that God is sovereign, but that His sovereignty doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. His Word tells us that when bad things happen, it’s somehow for His glory and for our good (hard but true), because it fulfills His will and makes us more like Christ (James 1:2-3). And so we don’t need a specific cause to blame, we just need a Father to trust, and this is something my worrisome nature will grapple with the rest of my life. Thankfully His strength is made perfect in our weakness and He lovingly takes His time with our sanctification. (2 Corinthians 12:10)
